The day was bright and sunny, yet pleasant enough for me to go and have a nap in the lawn.
The hammock tied to the nearby tree beckoned me, swaying gracefully in the wind as if tantalizing me to sleep on it. I climbed on to the hammock and lay there, waiting for SLEEP to enchant me. Through the corner of my eye, I watched my friends, playing cards; but I was in no mood to play. The only thing I wanted to do now was, to sleep!
Why blame me? For sleep is a trait given to man which he neither can deny nor can accept it gracefully. Well, who can deny sleep which is a portal that teleports you from the plane of reality to a land of imagination and fantasy? And, at the same time, who can accept it, for it draws all kinds of demons and combines them into a fearful nightmare? But for me, sleep is the gift which helps me forget the present; a gift that neutralizes all the miseries that Pandora unwittingly brought onto this world; a gift that helps me achieve those unattainable dreams that I cannot achieve in this plane of reality.
And soon, I fell into this blissful state.
SLEEP - Those little slices of death, how I loathe them.
Edgar Allen Poe
First, let me tell you about the happenings in my life over the past few months. I must confess that I am a male chauvinist. According to me, God created women only to serve men. And, for that reason, I always hated girls.
I was in my house, few months back, talking with my friend over a pack of cards. It was a hot day outside and there was no way I could sleep. “I hate girls”, I told him suddenly. He looked at me, surprised, as if he was seeing some alien who had taken the shape of man and descended on Earth.
“What do you mean? You surely don’t mean that, do you? “, he asked as he proceeded to play his card. It was a Joker which nobody throws. He thought I was joking.
“Why don’t you see around? You can clearly see that women are the weaker species. They are clearly made to be weaker. See, every species has a weaker gender. Take the case of the lion. The female lion is the huntress and not the male. In the case of lion the female is better. Take the case of the spider. The black widow eats her male once the mating is done. In the case of the spider too, the female is better. But, among human beings, male is definitely better”
“Don’t tell me that”, he replied. ”They are not genetically different”.
“Of course they are. Isn’t a male athlete faster than a female one? Isn’t a male better suited for a physically challenging job? How many female scientists do you know when you consider oodles of their male counterparts? Don’t the facts speak for themselves? Logically then…”
But, before I could complete the sentence the door-bell rang like a gong indicating me to stop and showing me the error of my ways. It sure changed me for when I opened the door, there stood outside the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was standing there, smiling at me as I stood, speechless.
She asked, “Mister… mister… the landlord sent me here. I am here to stay in the apartment next to yours. The landlord asked me to meet you for the key. Can you please get me the key?”
I nodded, my face full of embarrassment as I left to get the key. Inside, I made a decision not to fall into the pits of love and my pride eventually won. I saw her just as any other woman standing near the door, begging me to give the key. I smiled victoriously and gave her the key. But my pride took another bashing when she said, “I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation with your friend. You were loud enough to wake the whole building, you know. I want to discuss with you on the subject tomorrow, while we have coffee. OK?”
I couldn’t help but nod and had no time to recover and say no. She left immediately and I was standing there as dumb as a duck.
Some men see things as they are and say why... I dream of things that never were and say why not.
George Bernard Shaw
As I slept on the hammock, the dream inevitably followed.
The demon approached me cautiously, holding a large and deadly claymore. His bright red, fiery eyes, created to induce fear among the mortals, glanced at me furtively. His huge flaming body, designed to weigh any opponent, swayed sideward thus making room to swing his dangerous sword. He was a sight to petrify any weak-hearted man but a warrior like me, a demon hunter, would never be mortified by a puny demon. I grinned at him, slyly, sure of adding one more demon-head to my collection. The demon knew his end was near and he lunged at me at what would be his final assault. I parried with ease and with a swift blow cut off his hand. The limp hand, still holding the sword, fell on the ground and I saw, through the burning blood that splashed onto my face, the demon screaming. A push and I was on top of his chest, hand raised victoriously and ready to decapitate him with my majestic sword, the life-taker, the bane of demons. His eyes displayed fear, pleading me not to kill him and I smiled at his incompetence.
"Humans do claim a great deal for that particular emotion (love)."
Commander Spock from Star Trek
Next day, I met her at the coffee house. It was a short debate between adversaries. The debate continued but I no longer saw her as an opponent. I had been captured, harassed and tortured by her beauty and soon, fallen in love with her. I recited the same arguments as before, not as a fiery rebel but as a surrendered soldier. It was not a surprise that I eventually accepted defeat.
“You see, women are as good as men. Its just the circumstances that deceives people into thinking that the men are better”, she said even as I stuttered, searching for proper words to speak.
“Ah, you win today. I was not in my best form, you see. Maybe, someday I could convince you how I feel about the matter. Anyway, I got to leave. Have a hell of an assignment.”.
I left her that day but she did not leave me from the bottoms of my mind. Something was telling me that she too liked me; that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I decided to tell her how much I loved her.
“I want to tell you something.”, I told her the next time we met. “You know, for the past few days, I have been feeling different. I …I…”. Ah, nothing followed after that. Whenever I tried to tell her my feelings for her, the words stopped and I had to change the subject. I never could get it out of my mouth. It was as if it was a taboo; not supposed to be told. And we remained just friends.
Days passed and I was still the same, old dumb fool; literally dumb to express my feelings for her. I was getting desperate each day and yet (surprisingly) unable to unite her heart with mine. Then, out of the blues, lady luck seemed to smile at me. The younger people of the apartment were going out for picnic and I thought of this as my best opportunity.
"It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui."
Helen Keller
Vanquished demons don’t think. They accept their defeat as soon as they know that their end is near. So, I took some time before I laid my sword over its head. It was a momentary delay I should never have taken. For as I was about to cut its head, (Bamf! ) a puff of violet smoke appeared out of nowhere and a beautiful lady appeared from it. She was not just a beautiful lady, as I soon realized, but the lady whom I loved. Like a gallant knight rescuing a troubled lady, I proceeded towards her, forgetting the demon that lay below my feet. That was my second mistake as the demon teleported and grasped the lady in its horrible arms. With a menacing smile, blood dripping from the cut arm, the demon held her, making a small cut on her neck indicating his victory. It was a small cut, not a lethal one. But yet, the pain caused to her made my eyes moist.
“Wait a minute”, I thought. “What am I doing? I am a warrior and am not supposed to submit to such trivial issues like this. After all, she is just a woman and my job is to kill demons. The task of killing demons holds more priority than a petty, whining woman”.
“You are not going to live, you wretched devil”, I shouted to the demon.” Leave her and accept an easy death. Don’t make me torture you before I kill you. Leave her, now”.
“Muahahahahahahahaha”, laughed the demon, fiendishly, “You think I got her just to leave her? One more step and she dies. I know you pine for her. That’s why I brought her here. Go away and she lives“
I was not ready to accept defeat to a fiend. “This is your last warning, filthy creature. I do not care for any woman. It is you that I want and it is you who I will get. Only your punishment will be greater if any harm comes to the lady”.
As the demon stood laughing, I could hear a faint sound from her.
” Please save me. Don’t let this …this thing harm me”.
I was in a dilemma, not knowing what to do. Her soft cry for help stopped me from going directly for the demon. Yet, the demon needed to be killed. I couldn’t let anyone come in between me and my job. It HAD to be done.
I stood there, motionless, pondering whether to kill the laughing demon or save the panicked lady, who languished in my torn heart.
"A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation"
Mark Twain
The day had come when I thought it was time to empty my heart. It was a beautiful day for picnic and everyone had a merry time. Everyone, except me. I was burdened with a heavy heart, which had sabotaged all my thoughts. Disappointed, dejected I sat on a bench assimilating my thoughts. A soft wind blew onto my face as if consoling me and telling me that I was not alone. Silent, serene was the atmosphere but not me.
Why can’t I just say it? Why am I so afraid?
The thoughts that intruded my mind made no sense. When the brain doesn’t listen to the heart, there is nothing one can do. I saw two lovebirds chirping happily on the tree, mocking me. I felt a pang of jealousy seeing the birds.
Why me? I am a stupid, good-for-nothing fellow.
“Hey, what are you doing here, alone?”, I heard a sweet voice behind me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice her standing beside me.
“People are planning to play cards now. Wanna join?”, she asked.
“No, I don’t feel like playing now. Look at the beautiful day. Don’t you feel good today? I just want to lie somewhere and sleep. Yes, sleep. That’s what I want to today”.
“Suit yourself. But you look sad. Can I ask you why?” I stared at her for some time before speaking anything. She stood there, majestic, like a queen, like an Oracle, like someone who knew everything that was happening.
“Sit beside me for some time. Will you? I want to speak with you. Something important”, I told her. She smiled and took the seat next to me, her eyes expecting something
Oh boy! At last! This is the best time. Come on now. Don’t fail
“Look at the two birds on the tree there. Don’t they look beautiful?”
Yes, this is the best time…
“You know what they are? Like why they are so colorful?”
Thank you lovebirds! This time I won’t fail.
“They are…uh…. they are…ah…. they are…. birds of the genus Agapornis. They are members of the parrot family and they are so colorful because...”
Damn!! Damn!! GET TO THE POINT
“Thanks a lot for that scientific enlightenment.”, she cut me off. “I have no more time for this. Looks like they have started playing and I better join them. Are you coming or not?”
She sounded disappointed. I could see in her lovely eyes that she expected me to mouth the same words that I wanted to. But when it didn’t come, she didn’t have a reason to stay.
“No”, I replied. “I don’t feel like it. I will do the only thing I am good at. Sleeping. See you later”. I left without listening to her reply. I had a good memory and had my tongue tied, and yet this conversation didn’t get immortal. It didn’t matter what she said now. I had blown my only chance and now it looked as if there was no redemption.
The day was bright and sunny yet pleasant enough for me to go and have a nap in the lawn. The hammock tied to the nearby tree beckoned me. I climbed on to the hammock and lay there. Through the corner of my eye, I watched my friends, playing cards; but I was in no mood to play. The only thing I wanted to do now was, to sleep! And soon, I fell into this blissful state.
“Wake up!
You can't remember where it was
Has this dream stopped?”
The Doors – Wake Up
Chivalry, the trait hidden only in men, was the only thing that prevented me from going directly at the demon. I could sense the desperation in its eyes as it clutched the maiden, who to my untainted eyes, looked like my lost love. So much bad blood flowed between us that it was difficult for me to choose whether to kill the demon or save the woman. I decided to do both, but realized grudgingly that it wouldn’t be an easy task. I had to try, since it was certain that the wretched fiend would kill her eventually. I had to try.
“Why do you want to save her? “, the gruff voice of the demon reverberated in my ears. It took me by surprise to hear the demon ask me the very question that would prompt me to kill it. Why was the demon asking it?
“I know that you dedicate yourself to the task of killing demons.”, it continued. ”I am one and I should have been killed by now. Yet, I am alive. Now, why would a hardcore demon hunter pause, even for a minute, to kill the demon that he always wanted to kill? Hmm, I know it. I know it all, else why do you think I would take a step like this?”. The grin on the fiend’s face turned to a wide smile. All of a sudden it turned menacing. “Leave me now and I promise you that I would liberate her later”.
I was not going to fall into the demon’s trap; yet it took me by surprise. How did it know my feelings for her?
“Look, you should realize that killing you is my first priority and nothing else would daunt me from completing it.” The demon started baring its teeth. “I did hesitate but it had nothing to do with her”.
I released a secret knife from the back of my belt. I could feel the demon’s name written on it. Soon, before it realized what I was doing, the demon would find a way to … um … hell!
“But, why did you hesitate?”, the demon growled. “Why do you want to save THIS woman???”. It was just a matter of minutes before I get to throw the dreaded knife from my hands onto its eyes. But, before I could raise my hand, I heard the familiar voice of the woman. “Why do you want to save me?”.
I stopped hastily, the knife still hidden behind my back. Why was she saying that? Had the demon hypnotized the woman without my knowledge? Or did she become disillusioned with my half-truths that I spoke to deceive the demon? “Because you are in danger”, I replied “and I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me”.
“No”, I heard her sweet voice again. “You wouldn’t have done that to anyone else other than me. Why only me?”
I had to grudgingly admit that this was going out of control. Earlier, it was the demon and now her! I had to finish the job fast; had to do it quick and neat.
“I would have done this to anyone who was in trouble. Now, would you allow me to talk to the demon? I am here to save you!”.
This whole episode had really gotten out of control and flowing in a weird way. I sensed the knife in my hands and I had to throw it now. Why is she questioning me like that?
Again, she asked “Why do you want to save ME?”.
Frowning, I answered, “Didn’t I say I don’t want you harmed? Why are you making me angry like this?’. She knew the answer to her questions and yet she was asking me those same questions! Why? I had to end this. I had to end this NOW.
I heard her voice again, louder and determinate “WHY DO YOU WANT TO SAVE ME?”
“BECAUSE…”, I answered as I proceeded to throw the knife right at the center of the demon’s eyes, “BECAUSE …. “, I continued as the knife pierced the eye and felled the demon, “BECAUSE…… I LOVE YOU”.
The transformation was sudden and subtle. The plane of fantasy, created involuntarily by Sleep had dematerialized to reality. I was doubtful when the exact point of transformation, the exact moment when I woke up was. But, it was soon cleared when behind me I heard the same familiar voice that had dazed me for so long. “Me too dear, me too “, she exclaimed to my amazement “I love you too. I was waiting all these days for you to mouth those words. Why didn’t you say it before?”
I blinked at her, not believing my ears. Did I really tell her that I loved her? Those very words which were stuck deep inside my throat? I couldn’t believe anything what was happening. I had slept a dejected man and had woken up involuntarily to solve the very issue that dejected me. Sleep, wonderful sleep, had done the trick. Thank you Morpheus, thank you for your unforgettable help. At least, now I know that the God of Sleep never sleeps.
“Oh, you were playing cards, weren’t you?” I asked. “How did you come here?”
She glared at me, bewildered. ”Uh…I saw you trashing in your sleep and I … wait a minute… You didn’t know that I was behind you? Oh, doesn’t matter. I know that you loved me and I just wanted you to … tell me that yourself.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued,” Oh, how did you ever propose your love to me exactly at the same time I arrived here? How?”
That answer I could never explain to her. I couldn’t explain to her the dreadful nightmare that had prompted me to wake up shouting those magical words. I couldn’t explain to her the circumstances that untangled my worries. All I had to say was “This time for true. I love you”.